When I got out to my car this morning, it was cased in some strange, very cold crystalline substance. After pondering this (from a distance!) for some time, I realized that it was ICE! WTF??? This is ARIZONA! It doesn’t FREEZE here!!

If I wanted to deal with that kind of weather, I would move back to Vermont, where the photo below depicts a typical morning from October through April:

I know you flatlanders think it’s all maple syrup and autumn leaves there in Vermont, but it ain’t…