So I was meeting with my colleague Dave H today and noticed this on his chair:
After inquiring as to whether he is preparing for a future career as a cab driver, he explained that the nice new “leather-ish” chairs they received at work are comfy, but can create a serious case of swamp ass, especially in summer. Hence the seat cushion obviously stolen out of a 1988 Olds Delta 88 Brougham that was parked somewhere out in Sun City West. He probably snagged some bitchin’ curb feelers at the same time as well as those big dark green plastic sungoggles that fit over other glasses.
To give you a clearer picture of Dave, note the Lego screensaver (which, when I pointed it out he exclaimed “I have that one at home!”) and the Worlds of Warcraft mousepad.
Did I mention that this is his desk at WORK?
Wayne's Whirled 
I’m having a really hard time figuring out who’s the bigger geek – the guy with the chair pad and lego screen saver or the guy who says “Wow, that’s geeky. Let me take a picture for my blog”.
I say if it prevents swamp ass, then it is a good thing. Your friend might actually be brilliant!
Dufus: Let’s call it a tie.
Ah, the Phoenix Swamp Ass. I personally feel it’s hard to achieve in this dry climate. I think your friend should embrace it, cherish it, smell it and love it. (did I go to far? I think I just went too far)
He may very well do ALL those things to it. Just not at work. (PS: You can never go too far. Didn’t you see Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?)