Wayne's Whirled

I have most seen chia pets as either human heads or farm animals; evidently my neighbor used it for his lawn:

Seriously.  How about a book called “Dumping the Self-Absorbed”?

Yes, I know quote should only be used for quoting; it’s the closest I can come to air quotes over the internet.

My complaint is about airport security.  So after 9-11 they took away all of our sharp instruments (nail clippers, etc) but liquids were okay; now sharp thing are okay and liquids, creams and gels are tightly regulated (THREE OUNCES ONLY!).

This means that before you could NOT bring a razor but COULD bring shaving cream.  Now you CAN bring a razor but CAN’T bring shaving cream.

What does the TSA have against us getting a good shave anyway???

Come on. How precious is this???  He already knows that free booze brings ’em in!

So I walked out of a movie a couple weeks ago and needed to use the restroom (as I always do after holding my bladder through an entire film).  I looked up and saw this:

Good news!  The restroom was right next to the theater I was in, so I quickly walk in and sense that something has gone horribly wrong.  Namely the fact there are no urinals.  Oh, and that there are WOMEN in here!

I do a quick about-face and exit to try to see the error of my ways.  It turns out that had I looked up to the sign after getting two more feet out of theater I would have seen this:

Whoops.

…even Hiro sushi had their rice in the shape of a football:

So my friend and co-worker Dalon (he’s South-African; I guess that passes for a name over there) recently bought a 51-foot sailboat that he is now living on, and not only that he convinced his girlfriend to move on-board as well while only having about two linear feet of closet space and a toilet that is not currently operational.  I’m not sure if I am more impressed with his sense of adventure or his power of persuasion with the fairer sex.  Who else could talk a woman into that?

Here are some pics:

He plans to start sailing the world in a few years or as soon as the economy collapses, whichever comes first.  If it turns to armageddon, I may go with him.

Oh!  And his dog lives on board as well!

And this is me boating while intoxicated:

So some of you may know that I tend to eat at Sacks Art of Sandwicherie when I happened to be working out of my house, which is a couple days a week (and occasionally I go on Saturday).  They have great sandwiches, are fast and are very friendly.  When I went in today the owner asked me if I had a punch card for them since I am there so often; I did not even realize they HAD punch cards there so they went ahead and gave me one:

And yeah, they punched it TEN TIMES for me to make up for the fact that I was never offered one before, so my next one is FREE.

Let’s see Subway do that.

Explanation:  The plan for No Pants Day is to just act and dress normal, but like you’ve just forgotten your pants.  Hence the dress shoes and dress socks, people!

So this past Saturday was the Eighth Annual No Pants Day as started by the group Improv Everywhere; they were the ones that did the famous “Frozen Grand Central” prank that got so much play on YouTube.  Since we now have some appropriate mass transit, this year Phoenix joined in by getting about 100 people to ride the light rail as they would normally, the exception being that they were pantless.  I thought I would join the fun along with a bunch of great people I have met in the last year; a good time was had by all.  The local news was there as well dedicated photographers from our group so it was quite the laugh when we saw the footage on the local news later that day.

What I did NOT expect was this segment on the NATIONAL show “Fox and Friends Sunday” on the NATIONAL FOX NEWS CHANNEL; a friend called me Sunday morning and said “Uh, Wayne, I think I just saw you on national TV boarding a train with no pants on…”:

and then another friend let me know that they saw me on a New England news site boarding a train with no pants on!

and then another friend let me know that they saw me on a DUTCH news site boarding a train with no pants on!

So it looks like I finally got the local national INTERNATIONAL recognition I have wanted for so long 🙂

Here are some pics of the event as well from an excellent downtown Phoenix photographer, Tyson Crosbie.

And lastly, if that wasn’t enough, I ran into an old boss at the George and Dragon pub we went to after the event.  This is my former boss trying to talk to me, while, of course, I have no pants on:

What an odd day!  I hope to have a thousand more just like it 🙂

Simple.  Pick things you already do.  Here are some of mine for this year:

1.  Continue to not smoke.

2.  Read books.

3.  Eat out a lot.

4.  Play various sports.

5.  Hang out in coffeeshops.