So my friend [name redacted] has been navigating the online dating world in a large city on the east coast. She is a hottie and quite a catch overall, so naturally the weirdos have been coming out of the woodwork trying to get up in her grill. Here is the latest; I’m not sure what is up with taking the EXACT SAME PHOTO MULTIPLE TIMES WITH NOTHING BUT COSTUME CHANGES, so for my own enjoyment I made a flipbook out of it. He sort of looks like he is dancing, don’t you think.
As my good friend Kim would say: “Oh dear.”
So several weeks ago I was downtown to meet my friend Jill for lunch and while I was waiting for her a woman who was on a cellphone asked if I could help a bird that was flopping around all over the sidewalk. I saw the bird and thought it was having seizure or had a broken wing or something; having watched Wild Kingdom every Sunday night while growing up, I knew I had to jump in and do something; little did I know that Jill was catching this on her cell phone camera. She also blogged about this in her “Saving Captain Jack” post; get it?
Here is me in the “capture phase”:
And then holding it while we figured out what was wrong with it, which turned out to be some bird netting. I thought bird netting was meant to keep birds out of things, not detach and tangle them up. It was so wrapped around the bird that Jill had to go get some scissors which she used to cut the netting while I spread the birds wings out one at a time so we could get to it.
Here is the netting; nasty stuff!
My name is Wayne, and I am the Bird Whisperer.
Yes, I live in downtown Phoenix, can walk to my haircut, dry-cleaner, the main Phoenix Library, over thirty coffeeshops and restaurants. And this is my neighbor’s goat. Seriously.
She must be lonely because whenever I come up to the alley to throw away trash she comes running up to the fence to be petted.
Which, of course, I do. Her name if Fawn; I know because it says so on her…er, GOAT tag.
Weird. She usually crosses her FRONT legs.