Wayne's Whirled

This is my buddy Ray checking out the highest end massage chair at Brookstone, though since he is British I thought he was just doing an awesome Stephen Hawking impersonation.  He then blew into a straw and rolled around the room:

So my buddy John recently moved back to Indiana for a new job, so he has been re-learning the ways of the midwest (he was originally from Minnesota).  One thing he is learning is the midwest version of portion sizes; below is a picture of a pork cutlet “sandwich”.  I LOOSELY consider it a sandwich because usually one can actually see the BUN with a sandwich but this one is completely obscured by breaded fried pork.

He also put his hand in the shot for reference and he has HUGE hands (take it easy, ladies).

Circle K has sausage and egg sandwiches held together with syrup-laden pancakes.

So my friend Jill is taking a TRAPEZE class; yup, you read that right.  Check out her performance from the other night:

Sounds like my next new adventure!

So I stopped over the Ikea the other day and check out this parking spot that I got:

What luck that I was only there to return something and pick upp a couple brackets.  I felt like going in and buying a bunch of heavy shit just to make good use of the space.

I had posted on Twitter (after seeing this happen) how funny it is to see two men meet to greet one another when one goes in the for handshake and the other goes in for the hug; it is like a slow motion car accident.  Later that same day, my friend Keesha actually pulled this on me after having seen my tweet and it was HILARIOUS.

Well, thanks to my friend Brant, here is a clip from 30 Rock where that exact thing happens, though picture with two men who are not stationary but rather walking towards each other.  Damn hilarious.  See it in all it’s awkwardness here.  It is in the first 30 seconds of the clip.

Now this accidental social weirdness is not to be confused with the “hugshake” or “manhug”, which is done intentionally; below is a photo of a proper “manhug”.  We shake hands at the same time as we one-arm hug, with our other arm between our bodies.  This creates adequate body distance so that our penises don’t accidentally bump into each other: