Just say NO to ginormous purses…

Okay, this one has bugged me for a while. What the f**k is up with the monster purses that women carry these days???

First of all, who needs to carry that much crap with them everywhere they go? If you need that much makeup immediately accessible at all times to look presentable, consider cosmetic surgery.

Second, when women do the “tuck the purse behind the armpit” pose they have no idea that this creates a huge bat wing behind them that others have to navigate. The rule should be that your purse can’t stick out farther than your own ass.

Lastly, have you ever been in line behind one of these women when she is looking for her wallet in there so she can pay for something? It’s like watching a magician pull various crap out of a trick bottomless top hat.

So, just say NO to ginormous purses.

7 thoughts on “Just say NO to ginormous purses…

  1. mom Saturday June 21, 2008 at 5:49 am Reply

    well, I’m a woman but have to agree with you on this one, besides this thing is hard on the back, when they get old like me they will be sorry.

    Bruce says, “maybe she should carry two, that way she will have two wings and could fly”

  2. Kiri Monday June 23, 2008 at 8:47 am Reply

    Ummm….think of all the hours of amusement you would lose if you couldn’t go through my ginormous purse/ George Costanza wallet and scream, “why do you need this expired library card from Idaho?” You never know when that, the taxedermied cat, two used tissues, a dried out mascara tube, an onion, and a pair of pink tube socks are gonna save your life, MacGyver. AND, Excavatin’ (or archaelogical digging, if you prefer) has gotten you through huge movie lines and restaurant waits. I think you should applaud us big-assed and big-ass bag wearers!!!!

  3. wayne Monday June 23, 2008 at 8:53 am Reply

    You do have a point, Kiri. I will make exceptions for huge purses that I am allowed to rummage through, such as yours. After all, it HAS indeed given me hours of entertainment.

  4. Kimberli Monday June 23, 2008 at 5:34 pm Reply

    Well, I’ve never owned any purse and never intend to!!! ;-p

  5. Tyler Monday June 23, 2008 at 6:04 pm Reply

    Ally Sheedy’s character from The Breakfast Club comes to mind…

    Anthony Michael Hall: Do you always carry this much shit in your purse?

    Ally Sheedy: Yes…I always carry this much SHIT in my purse…You never know when you’re gonna have to jam.

  6. Tyler Monday June 23, 2008 at 6:05 pm Reply

    Hey, I want to rummage through Kiri’s purse too!!!

  7. Gerald Wednesday June 25, 2008 at 10:33 am Reply

    I’m afraid that some woman with a giant purse is now going to start eating more so that her ass gets big enough to block the purse. IS that what you want, Wayne? Don’t complicate things, just ask for smaller purse and don’t mix in Sir Mix-A-Lot’s fantasy.

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