Whilst dining at lunch today, I witnessed a middle-aged woman take a stack of about THIRTY paper napkins for her lunch with her and a single companion. WTF???
Look, unless you have some serious hand-eye coordination issues or you need to make an impromptu toilet-seat ass-gasket, there is NO reason to need that many napkins. She could have made a napkin muumuu out of it, for Christ’s sake (granted she was wearing a muumuu ALREADY, but you get the point).
Next time, please just take a napkin or two and move on, or just bring your own frickin’ bib.
Wayne's Whirled 
I use my shirt sleeve to help balance the napkin hogs of the world.
You must look pretty funny in the short-sleeved summer, what with ketchup stains down your arms…
It\’s great to read something that\’s both enjoyable and provides pramgatidsc solutions.