I do stupid things sometimes. And not just things like in the photo below, where I have to put a ladder on top of my BED (isn’t the first rule of ladders “a stable surface”?) to install and remove my vent deflectors each year.  No problem so far, but it does make for a dicey task.

We all do stupid things, I suppose, though as someone who has not always been aware of the effect of my words and actions in the past I really try to keep close watch on that particular part of me (and have for the last ten years).  Whether it is just cracking jokes without realizing I have hurt someone’s feelings or letting my anxiety get the best of me so I am no longer trying to resolve the issue but rather just trying to get the discussion over so I can stop feeling uncomfortable.  I really do make the effort.

And yet at times I fail.  And I hate when I do.

So many people would say “come on, don’t be so hard on yourself”. I disagree; I think the best way to learn from mistakes is to BE hard on yourself. Not for a long time, not in a way that makes you think you are a bad person in general, but certainly enough to learn the lesson thereby reducing the chances of it happening again. We do tend to remember unpleasantness, and if the realization and evaluation of some of your own behavior is unpleasant then perhaps it is less likely to happen again.

So be hard on yourself.  Learn a lesson.  And maybe it will be the last time it need be learned, which will be better for you and especially for those around you.

Lecture over.

So this was in one of the public journals that is left on the tables in my local coffee shop.  Generally the journals get filled with a mix of good and bad art, “<insert name> was here” type of things and occasionally some bad poetry.  Imagine my surprise when I came across this:

I love the part about “you will never try to catch me in a net or touch my mermaid fin”.

Maybe we all need to know such things about those we love.

So one thing you know you’ll get at Park-N-Swap is a lot of variety, but this blew even MY mind:

So all in this one photo are an ice axe, an electric drill, a dual-tone horn kit for a car and an, uh, body fluid cleanup kit?? Please not I did not gather these things together; they were sitting right next to one another.

That’s a lot of variety in two square feet.

And here are some of those keyfobs for people who like everyone to know what kind of car they drive when they are not near their car but DO have their keys. I expect to see “Porsche”, “BMW” or even “Camaro” from the more blue collar types, but I did not expect to see these:

If I could find a Yugo one, my world would be complete.

Okay, so I guess I really don’t see it as a problem.  I happen to like mitts, especially when it comes to cleaning.  Maybe it is all those years of baseball and softball, maybe it is my OCD, maybe I don’t like to get my hands dirty (did you know they sell boxes of 500 rubber gloves at Costco?); for whatever reason, I like me a good mitt.

So imagine my joy when I stumbled across a collection of cleaning mitts by Simply Human when perusing the weird stuff at a Ross store the other day.  Score!

So it includes a mitt for cleaning stainless steel, a mitt for cleaning glass and mirrors, and two mitts for general cleaning (one of which I am using for wood cleaners and one for general kitchen stuff).  All for only $9.99!  They are $19.99 at Amazon, but this is ROSS, man!

So here they are:

Yeah, so the two things on the left are my lint mitt (a winner!) and my, er, SHOWER GLOVES.  But those are just for efficiency.  Why clean with one hand when you can use two?!?

I adMITT, I have a problem.

Lets just say I was unable to find The Atlantic or Scientific American, but if wrestling, guns or cars were my thing I would be set for life.

I know this is a little long, so please stick with me for a moment.  I need your help to change my life.  I know that’s a lot of pressure, but it’s not as daunting as it sounds.

Some of you may know that my world has changed dramatically in the last few months.  I was told I needed to relocate to keep my awesome job of 14 years; instead I decided to rather prioritize some family issues and to try to have some adventures while I have the energy.  All of my younger friends tell me that 46 (which I am) is the new 30; I’m sure they were just saying that to make me feel better, but now I want to prove them right.  I have been fortunate to have many adventures (as seen in my banner photo) but have never really TRAVELED.  And I so want to travel before I run out of time.

But to do it I need your help, and the help of your friends.

Right after my job ended, I received a mass email to enter a contest to go on several adventure travel trips and blog about them.  Normally I would just delete such a thing, but I have read the catalogs of these travel companies for YEARS yet have never been on any of them, and now I have a chance to do them ALL?  And is the timing of this contest a coincidence, given my life situation and my goal of having some adventures?!?  I had to write a 400 word essay (shown in italics below), upload it to their website and get people to vote for me.

That’s where I need your help, and pretty much the help of everyone you know.

The winner is just the one with the most votes on January 1, 2011, and though I feel fortunate to have many friends in various walks of life, it will be the “friends of friends” that will decide whether I can win this.  What made me even bother is the popularity not of me (minimal) but the popularity of my friends (you all have TONS of friends!), because that’s what makes it possible for me to even have a chance.

So not only do I need your vote, but I need the vote of everyone you know.  If you can point others to this blog post through email, Facebook, Twitter or whatever your preferred communication method may be it would be greatly appreciated.

Any comments on the essay are appreciated as well; no matter how this goes I hope to improve my writing and so feedback from others would help in that.  Here is my essay as you will see it on the website; I hope that it resonates enough for you to take the time to click here to register and vote for me.  And to ask your friends to do the same.

Thank you,

Wayne

Travel Contest Essay – Wayne Turner – 10/1/2010

I’m 46 years old and haven’t been anywhere.

Now don’t start feeling sorry for me, as it’s not as bad as it sounds. I’ve been to many cities in the United States, but my passport is bare. I’ve had incredible adventures, although few in exotic locales. I feel fortunate to have traveled this country, but yearn to enjoy cultures abroad. I love writing about my endeavors, and while I can often make my stories poignant or humorous, my past destinations are not necessarily ones that would spur others on to similar adventures. I’ve researched the numerous offerings of adventure travel companies like Backroads and OARS with the diligence of someone studying for a bar exam, though never been on one.

Yet.

You can help me change that, and perhaps share in the journey. Maybe my words and photos will make you laugh, make you cry, or even inspire you to seek out your own adventures. If so, perhaps this can affect more lives than just mine.

I’ve worked for 34 years straight (since I was 12) and my company of 14 years recently asked me to relocate. I could continue in a career I love while moving to a city with ideal weather year-round. It was a good offer, particularly in this difficult economy.

I didn’t take it because I haven’t been anywhere. Many say that it is never too late to have an adventure. I want to prove that to be true, to myself and to whoever may read along.

Many of my friends are in their 20s and 30s; they inspire me with their wanderlust. Now I want to go and do what I missed when I didn’t make travel a priority; I want to make up for lost time.

To do this I need your assistance; I need your vote. If I do get this chance, I hope you will read my blog about these adventures so you can be part of the journey that your support allowed me to embark upon. I’ll do my best to inform and entertain you, and if some of you are inspired to do something similar, then the experience would be exponentially more meaningful.

I’m 46 years old and going places. For the first time, really. Help me get there, and please come along for the ride.

Click here to register and vote for me.

Until I was nine, we lived in a trailer in Vermont that 10′ x 57′ (and those are the OUTSIDE dimensions, including the hitch); even THAT place had two bathrooms.  A good friend has a one-bathroom house in San Diego where he lives with his wife and two kids; we got to discussing how one bathroom works out with a family of four and he responded with this (and yes, he IS an engineer):

Two kids, my son is almost 8 and my daughter is 5.  Tick tock, tick tock, the demand for the bathroom can only increase.

Right now we have a serial process in the morning:

1)     My alarm goes, and I snooze in bed

2)     My wife gets up and goes to the bathroom

3)     My wife wakes up the kids and they each go to the bathroom

4)     I wait until I hear the bathroom door open 3 times

5)     Kids go and eat breakfast

6)     I get up and use the bathroom for my morning ritual, the three S’s

1. Shit
2. Shower
3. Shave

7)     I exit the bathroom and eat breakfast

8)     The kids take turns getting dressed and using the bathroom to brush their teeth and wash their faces

9)     When the kids are done, I use the bathroom to brush my teeth

10)  We all put on our shoes and I take them to school

11)  My wife has full access to the bathroom

You gotta love that it just works; he should get this and then they can do laundry at the same time:

Two simultaneously??