Wayne's Whirled

So last week while I was up in San Jose I flew in early to catch up with my buddy Don who lives up there.  He had emailed me asking if I wanted to be picked up at the airport in the Mini or the Smart Car.  SMART CAR BABY!

Don pulling up at the curb

A lot smaller than a Mini!

Did I mention that Don is kind of a big guy?

Yep, I got to drive it!  It was like tooling around in a golf cart!

My friend Jenell is an interior designer for an architecture firm, though she has many talents OTHER than just spending other people’s money (as designers tend to do). I’m admittedly just jealous that she gets to spend other people’s money whereas I have to spend my own, but check out the bag she designed and made as a birthday gift to her best friend; cool or what???

I insisted that she give me some specifics so I could blog it, so here is her description:

The material is ‘100% cotton with a laminated coating’, which makes it super cleanable and the inside lining uses the same fabrics. The store where the fabrics were bought is called Bernina Connection [42nd St & Indian School]. I guess it’s a messenger bag, and i sewed a pocket inside for a wine bottle opener.

Did you read that??? A wine bottle opener! How cool!

I’m so glad that my friends are talented so I don’t have to be.

So I was behind this car the other day and realized that they are indeed capturing some of the most important things in life:

Who can disagree that we all need to coexist, that world peace is needed and that fish and chips rock?

Granted, my British friend Ray convinced me of the third, though he is HEAVILY partial to The Codfather rather than Pete’s…

So my Mom keeps getting me a subscription to the Vermont Standard newspaper, and though it can be a bit repetitive (let’s face it, not a lot happens there) there are always some high points.

For example, this amazing scoop by the paper; does CNN know about this???

Even better is the police log for the town of Woodstock shown below.  Keep in mind that this is for an ENTIRE WEEK and these are the events that were worth mentioning in the paper.  I can’t decide if my favorite is the car/deer collision on the 29th or the car/mailbox collision the day before.  Vote for your favorite in the comments!

Oh come on. Isn’t it enough that I have to take off half my clothes, place my Preparation H in a clear plastic bag for all to see and wonder if my belt buckle is going to set off the metal detector every time I fly? After all that indignity this week, I jumped on the Phoenix Sky Harbor airport free wireless to read some blogs while waiting. While trying to go to www.thedirty.com (formerly http://www.dirtyscottsdale.com) to see what the the douchebags and poseurs in Scottsdale (and elsewhere) have been doing, I got this:

It isn’t porn! If you want to block something dangerous, block anything that shows Ann Coulter talking.

My buddy Aaron found this puppy wandering around his metal shop in downtown Phoenix and he wants to find it a home rather than taking it to a shelter. Pretty darn cute, you gotta admit and I guess he is really sweet and playful. Contact as follows:

Being somewhat of an avid “texter” two things always make me go “Hmmm…”

1. Words that have a relationship to one another that are spelled with the same keystrokes. For example, 5477 can be either “kiss” or “lips”. (It can also be “lisp”, which is even more funny.) 2625 is another interesting one, but you’ll have to try that one out yourself.

2.  The T9 predictive text seems to make weird choices about which of the several words spelled with the keystrokes I am trying to say.  Granted I seldom have to type the word “eels” but if I DO, it is much more likely that I want to type “eels” and not “delp”.

Go ahead gang, have a field day with that subject line 🙂

Whenever I fill up the gas tank in my car I feel violated, and I have a feeling that this is going to be an ongoing and ever-worsening issue. This one hurt more than last time.

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Six cents a gallon more, to be exact.

So is it just me or are most of the contestants on this show not very bright? They get an offer of a couple hundred thousand dollars (when they probably make $30k a year) and they still keep holding out for that million!

It is the peer pressure? When has THAT ever resulted in a good outcome? (Think beer bongs, shots of Jagermeister and crack). Is it the few more minutes of fame? If so, they end up paying about $20K for each additional minute when they get one-fourth of their original offer. Is it just plain stupidity? Is it the math system in this country?

<sigh>

I love when you can tell there is ONE smart person in the family who is BEGGING them to stop while the other family members are thinking “when they win that million I’m gettin’ me some of it!” and yelling “NO DEAL”!

I think if they actually handed them the money for each offer and then said that they had to place it back on the table and use it as a bet to win more, then they would probably take their original $200K offer and go back home and buy the nicest trailer in the whole damn park.

Here is a good rule of thumb: if you are offered an amount that could CHANGE YOUR LIFE, take it. And if anyone in your family was cheering you to keep going, they get NOTHING.